Creating the Best Version of Yourself - Steve Gamlin

Drawing from his background in the radio industry, stand-up comedy and three decades as an emcee, Steve weaves it all into his high-energy presentations, leaving his audiences laughing (while they learn) while he delivers his 'actionable' blend of Positivity and Humor for Live (and Virtual) events. 

As a Keynote Speaker, Author, Coach and Creator of the Vision Board Mastery program, Steve teaches individuals and organizations to identify their most-desired outcomes, then construct an Action Plan to achieve success...whatever that looks like for them.

In this episode, Steve discusses:
• Accepting yourself to design and build the best version of you
• Being authentic and genuine in a world of facades
• Overcoming negativity to achieve your goals
• The power of being positive and leaving every situation better than you found it
• And much more!

Check out Steve's website at: https://www.motivationalfirewood.com/

Transcript

0:06

Hey, this is Trent Christensen with The Success Factor. Thanks for tuning in to another episode. On this episode, I interview Steve Gamblin. He is a hilarious individual. He takes comedy to a whole new level. In fact, that's what he thrives on is comedy. He has a comedic relief about him that is so therapeutic. His communication style is amazing. He just helps me relax and enjoy and embrace smiles. And because of that, I love this interview. He was such a good, positive, you know, individual to speak to. He's the type of person that if you're worried about having a stale conversation or if you're worried about where the conversation's gonna go and what to say next, he's the type of person that just fills in the blanks and he helps you come up with some comedy on the fly that everyone appreciates. So I really enjoyed interviewing Steve. Enjoy the episode. Yeah. So how are you today? I'm good. Gosh. This is my third podcast in the past 27 hours. This my second one today. I'm just having a ball, man, just ripping it up meeting, meeting the best people and just getting to share as much value as possible. Good for you, Steve. That's pretty cool. You're killing it. And I'm having fun. Yeah. And you enjoy it too, which is cool. I could tell tell you enjoy it. I love it. Today was actually really special when the host was diagnosed bipolar and a lot of his community are people dealing with mental illness, so we took that slant on and it was very unusual. I'm a person who, if I don't have enough connection with real people, long enough, a little depression comes in, in isolation and a, and a bit of that. So it was really kind of good to talk about that today. That's good. That's an important topic because a lot of people underestimate the importance of just interacting with other humans who give you natural energy and keep you going a little bit. It isolation is not good. And there's so much studies and science that came out as a result of the pandemic about that too. Yeah. One of the, one of the things I work with a lot of my clients is feeling disconnected and feeling as though they're alone and isolated. And I suggest to them, Grab your phone right now while we're on this coaching session. Go into messenger. Find somebody you like, somebody you've known for a while. Hit that little microphone button. Leave them a 30 second message describing your favorite memory with them, the coolest thing y'all ever did together. And just do it real quick. And it's funny, when they do that, when they take on that challenge of doing it at least 1, 2, 3, 4 times a week, I see them change even in the midst of that call doing that very first one. I see them different by the end of our call and they say, Oh, that felt good. And I see, you know what felt good, me watching you on camera doing that. I saw you change during that 30 seconds. It's beautiful. And it was, again, like everything I share. It's something that has benefited me in some way, which is why I share it with others. That's cool. I love that about you. You are passionate about what you're doing, and so I kind of wanna back up a little bit and see what shifted for you, because you were not always doing this right? You were not. Something happened, something changed in your life that led you down this journey that you're super passionate about. What was it that changed you? I can tell you the exact day and the exact moment when the big shift happened, and it came about every 20 years or so. I've had this whole, in the ashes moment. My early twenties led me to being on the radio, and then worked 15 years worth of hours in 10. And in the very early 2000s, I walked away from my radio career to massive amounts of stress and just exhaustion. My first marriage fell apart due to lack communication and a mismatch of energy. After nine years together and I was beyond broke, I could have filed for bankruptcy. I had been so inattentive with my money that it just fell apart. And at age 35, I crawled back home to live family and was in the ashes for a year of all of that. I had no idea what I was gonna do, where'd I go? Back to radio, where'd I do something else? Tried a couple little ideas that didn't work. And in August of oh three, at about four o'clock in the afternoon a very humid New England Day, had $3 left in my pocket and I went to a little driving range at a mini golf course to just whack that crap out a bucket of golf balls to get out my frustrations. And being a really golfer, I went to the farthest tee box in the property, which was up against the fence under power lines, and a thunderstorm came ripping through and everybody but me ran from the storm and I just stood there. Barefoot in the wet grass under power lines in a thunderstorm and even held up the club and just looked up and said, I dare you. And I hit my bucket and the buckets of two gentlemen who'd run from the storm, who very generously donated them to me. And when I got to my car an hour later and I opened the door, the rain stopped and the sun came out and I just started laughing and I just thought well played. And a day later I was speaking with my then brand new life coach and he said, How's your week? And I said, Put down your pen and listen to this. And as funny as I could retell it, very self deprecating, but as funny as I could make it, I told him the story of that hour. And when he stopped laughing, he said, I have two questions for you. Are you this open and honest about your life with everybody? And I said, Yeah, Ever thought of being a motivational speaker or a standup comedian? And I said, The funny part is when I was 11, I wanted to be a radio dj. A standup comic, write my own books and be a teacher of people, but not in a classroom setting. And at age 35, the last puzzle, somebody asking me a question the right way, who heard something that I couldn't see yet asked it for me. Within three weeks, I was pursuing both. That is, that's really cool. I have a lot of follow up questions, but the powerfulness to that story in my eyes is that you got to the point where you didn't care to share those details. You're like, I, yeah, I will tell you exactly what happened. Here's how it happened, and you got, you embraced your vulnerability and your authenticity, and you put your best foot forward despite the possible judgment, or, backlash that you may receive from people and look at you, that actually is empowering you to go and change other people's lives. That's actually pretty cool. That's the coolest part about that. A lot of people would not share those details, right? You know, it's, it's funny because sometimes people have said, Well, doesn't that make you look pathetic? I said, Well, the way I used to tell it was pathetic I spent another, believe me, I spent another decade after that being very self deprecating to get laughs. And what it did was kept my inner self so weak and so just down, you know, I was getting laughs and I thought I was winning because of it. And a dear friend of mine about 12 years ago now, after a three day event, I spoke all three days. On the third day I was in a bad mood or I was running outta material, whatever. I went on this self deprecating rant in front of this audience and melted down. Badly. he pulled me aside at the end of the event, actually staged an intervention on me with all the other speakers as well, sitting around me in a circle. They demolished me and he said, My dear friend said, If I ever hear you talking about yourself like that again, we will never work together again. We will not be friends. We are not brothers if ever catch you doing that again. And it finally dawned on me that I was essentially murdering my own soul by bashing myself all the time. And I wasn't inspiring anybody. I was putting myself down and getting laughs but was holding myself back so much. And when that switch got flipped, now it took a while. I wouldn't say it was a switch, it was like a dimmer. It took a while, but I finally got it. And all of a sudden this confidence that I had wished for my entire life started to come through and actually be accepting of who I was. I could look in the mirror and instead of bashing myself for 10 different things, I could find one that I really liked or appreciated or respected or even loved about myself, which is an exercise I now do with my clients. When we first start working together, seven days, one thing each day, and they write it down on a slip of paper in their bathroom mirror, And they look at it as they go into the bathroom, they look at it and remind themselves. Yeah, well, one per day for seven days, they have to wake up in the morning. And I tell them, You start at the top of your head and you start looking down and you find one thing every day. You like respect or even love about yourself, or you can just accept as being perfectly imperfect. And I said, Look, day one is gonna be the toughest day. You start at the top of your head, you go all the way down, and if all you can say is, Well, heck, at least my socks match, write that down. But you can't do the socks thing again, the next day you have pick up something different. I've had people on the third or fourth day reach out me and say, Hey Steve, I have the most incredible eyes. And I'll tell them, I know that. And they said, Yeah, but now I know it. And it gets easier after that and so many people think it's egotistical or its arrogant to say that, Oh my you're accepting yourself as you are. Yeah. We are the worst to ourselves. We need to do that more. So now let me ask you this question. Mm-hmm. How do you do the vision board? Because what you're saying is kind of similar to like a vision board, right? If you come up with something you like about yourself and you just write the words down and you look at it on a daily basis, very similar concept to a vision board, right? Which it's very powerful. You could even print things that you like or want to achieve or you envision yourself doing. Out of a magazine, put it on a vision board, and it's amazing how powerful that is. But what's the, have you done any psychology or any like science behind th this type of power? I have, uh, for the past, well, actually right, since the year after I became a speaker, so right around 2004, 2005, I got a DVD version of The Secret when it first came out. Now I agree with a lot of what The Secret did. I disagree with the whole Genie and the Magic lamp thing that they lost me there. Okay. But out of the 98 minute there were three minutes where some guy named John Asaf, had never heard of at the time, talked about vision and how he put words in pictures and things on a board of things he wished to have or enjoy or. be. Mm. In his life. And I was so fascinated by that three minutes that I started to, to dig into the powers of visualization and not just what so many people think as an arts and crafts project. Just slapping a bunch pictures on a board and there we go. I'm manifesting. No you're not. You've just created an arts and crafts project. Good job. It's something. But I relate it to, you have New Year's resolutions and you have goals. Mm-hmm., you have a board party or a little arts and craft project, and then you have a true visualization exercise like I do with my clients. You're creating the best version of yourself is what you're creating. It's, it's not just what you wish to have, but who you wish to become in the process. The best version of yourself, and not just material things. I work with eight major categories life, your career Your finances, your physical health, your emotional wellbeing. Emotions can be goals too. Your relationships, your core values and ethics, your faith and spirituality. If you believe in the higher power, and also your connection to the world in a real way, If you set at one goal per category, one year goals, or if you have a larger goal, one year's worth progress on one of those, you put all of those things together, create the ultimate version of yourself, who you wish to be, what your goals look like, feel like, sound like, smell like, tastes like. your senses as much as possible. You're gonna find that you're already going to see the best version of yourself. Now you've drawn your end. You've gotta figure out all of the steps it's going to take to get there. That's when you seek out mentors. You seek out examples. You start to understand that nothing is instant, because the best things for me are like an old wooden roller coaster. Top of the first hills, one of your goals, you're way down here and you have click little steps every day, systematically, consistently building up momentum, acclimating yourself to that height. We don't just sap at the top of a mountain because we haven't done all the steps yet, and we're not used to that. It's like people who win the lottery in 10 million, all of a sudden they're a millionaire. What happens to most of them in three to five years? Bankrupt. They spend it all, man. They don't know what to do. They just go and spend it. all. Yeah. They're beyond bankrupt. Uh, many of them deal with addiction and depression and their relationships fall apart, and you have families entirely splitting apart because they haven't acclimated to what it's going to look like, feel like, sound like, be like, and the pressures of it. They haven't built up the muscles. They've essentially what I call going to the gym on January 1st and trying to bench press the Volkswagen. I think you need to get rock hard muscles. why I, I compare it to the rollercoaster and I talk about those eight areas of life that are all working together and leaning upon each other 24 7. Gosh, wouldn't it be a good idea to see that in advance? And when you're creating the vision to include all of those parts of your life, It'd be amazing. I think that's actually very powerful. It, it, to me, comes across as overwhelming and I think, and I wonder if maybe people need to take just baby steps, just one step at a time. Come up with one of those categories, come up with your vision or dream or goal around one of 'em, and then start adding additional as you make progress against that, so that over time you can hit 'em all up. But a lot of people, I think, get overwhelmed by how much effort, how much perceived effort has to go into making significant changes, but they lose sight of the fact that real change happens slow, good things happen, slow. If it's fast, it's probably not gonna be helpful. It could potentially hurt you. And that goes for a lot of things in life. Even wealth, even money, right? If you get, if you win the lottery tomorrow, yet you may, it may screw you up if you lose a ton of weight. Bad, in a short time period, if you want to go and start a business and you knock it outta the ballpark on day one, yeah, that doesn't really normally happen. Good money tends to move slow. Good things that are good for you tend to take a lot of time and take a lot of effort over that same amount of time. So just taking baby steps, Yeah. You know know what I mean? That's how you, that's, I mean, Rome wasn't built in a day, right? We could summarize all that into that wasn't in a day. Exactly. And like you said, with the weight, you know, you see all these products and programs out there lose 85 pounds in 30 days and, and all of that. Or, or you know, like the lipo suction or these cool sculpting and all that. Mm-hmm., what they're failing to address are the attitudes and behaviors that got them that way in the first place. Now all you're doing is making the belly disappear, but you haven't changed the habits that contributed to it in the first place. What happens within 30, 60, 90 days, the belly is back. Oh my gosh. I've known people who've gotten gastric bypass surgery, who were told what to do to maintain, and they never changed their eating habits. They broke the band. They kept eating so much. They actually ripped the elastic band in half. Wow. Cuz they didn't change the behaviors. That's pretty interesting because that's, I mean, that's a really good perspective too. If you don't address your behaviors, if you don't make the necessary changes in shifts, then you're going to artificially accomplish something that won't last. Right? Yep. and it takes time. It takes effort. Like these teenagers today, they seem to want it right now. They seem to want everything. And I don't know how healthy that is. It is not healthy cuz it's not realistic. But yet social media influencers seem to put on this facade that they have everything right away. They're very rich, they're very, uh, well to do. And it's primarily a facade. It's an illusion of success, not real lasting, long term, hard earned success. We gotta shift these kids mentalities Yeah. Yeah. And, and it goes for us too. It's a whole whole wall. Yeah. I mean, gosh, I'm 54 years old when I wanted to learn something or to, to do something or, or research something back in the day, go to the library, I would drive halfway across town, go to the library. But now we have it instantly at our fingertips. And unfortunately that's how this new generation is being raised. It's just the way the world is now. Yeah. And it can be very tough to explain to them that a lot of this is not real we see the bling, we see all this facade, like you said, And what happens to a lot of these influencers, social media, influencers now there's a lot of mental illness is a lot of addiction. They struggle with a lot when they can't maintain the image of perfection and power and prestige and beauty and money. Yeah. When it all comes tumbling down, oh gosh. It's so damaging and it's, it breaks my heart to see when it happens, but we know it's gonna happen. Right. And you just touched on one of'em, which is these influencers appear to be being burnt out. They're getting depressed because they're not able to maintain the growth and the chemical release that occurs as you realize, Holy crap, I am growing exponentially. This is amazing. You enjoy the ride up, but how do you handle the ride down or the plateau? But in a lot of cases, there's a facade, there's an illusion put in front of people. So what, in, in all the clients that you have and all the speaking engagements that you've done and your experiences so far, what do you think about this concept of the illusion, perfection that people are embracing and trying to, and subconsciously putting out there? That's the biggest reason why I stay as real and authentic and genuine as possible with everything I I've, I was on the radio for 10 years, and even then we had such an illusion about all of us. We would go somewhere, we'd be asked Autographs and told, Oh, we'd love you guys, and this and that, and we would go back to, a dumpy radio station every day. And we would sit in grungy little office and eat our little bag lunches and, and it was so imperfect that I. I will never let people think that it's all this rainbows and unicorns and, and all of that. And that extends to speaking as well. Oh my there's so many gurus in this industry, which drives me crazy. People say, Oh, you know, this person has it all and this and this and this. It is not true. So anybody who is out there, no matter what you do for a living, I highly encourage you to be authentic and genuine. And even if things aren't let the world know things aren't perfect, but your work in progress. I've been all across the country speaking before and people think, Oh my gosh, you're like Tony Robbins. No, I'm not. I'm me. Yeah. You know, and even Tony isn't the Tony that a lot people think he is. Gosh, he had to create his own little special called am not your gu. To just be real with people and let them know. For me, I'm a regular blue collar backgrounded guy. I brought the work ethic and the core values into everything I do as a speaker. It does not make me better than anybody. It makes me better than the person I was 10 years ago or one year ago. And that's the approach I take with everything I do. Nothing I touch is magic. It's all consistent action, building momentum and being as genuine and authentic as I never wanna mislead anybody to think I'm better than who I am every single day. What do you think is the biggest culprit to this shift in society? today? I think a lot of people just, it's, it's generational Keeping with the Joneses, it, it's just that Joneses are just d. Back in day, it was a family that had two cars or a pool maybe a vacation home somewhere, and other people tried be that. it's all the bling and all the, everything that's shown on social media, all they have it all. Well, personal development world, many of the videos you see of these gurus talking about success, rent the Lamborghini, they rent the mansion, they rent the helicopter, they rent jet. There's a recording studio in California that is made look like inside of a private jet and in the recording studio in the building making everybody think they're on their own private jet. That's a big problem for me. Wow. It really is. It's, It's this whole people are fake thing. yeah, people are actually soaking that up though, which is part of the problem. People are actually embracing it. They're enjoying it. They're hitting that up. They're sharing it, They're commenting, which is part of the problem because I don't think, Yeah. I don't think most people understand that how easy things can be faked, I don't think, they're probably not talking about, or even digesting and decoding the fakeness behind what they're looking at. Why don't, I don't understand why people are just soaking it up as real and enjoying it. Okay, Here's another question for you, Steve. How do we get society to embrace vulnerability and authenticity more and put off the fakeness illusions of perfection that are constantly being portrayed? It's a tough fight, but I do my best every single day to just be, and this is where I tell a lot people, they say, How can I teach my kids to do this? Or How can I teach this? Be the best living example of it every day? Acknowledge the fact that what do tell these people. Like, what can I do? What can others do? What's an actionable change that could be taken place right now here today to put forth that more authentic self? Understand the line between being authentic and putting yourself down because so many people have other people around them. Well, you can't talk about that or, or you're not because of this. Or you're not attractive enough, or you're not this at this. Hey, I'm not perfect at all, at all, believe me, I've, I've got a meme I created years ago my old recording studio. I was holding a piece of firewood because that's my brand motivational firewood guy. And said, Hair not perfect face, not perfect smile, perfect brain, not perfect body, not perfect kick and butt. Anyway, That's cool. And I put the best and, and somebody, every time I post it, somebody says, Oh, Steve, how do you know I needed today? I said, You. I said, I woke up and I needed it. That's why I took that picture and created that message. That's cool. I want to be real. And I suggest to people just be real because the world is gonna respond. To whatever they believe, and I just refuse to put up this stack of gold bars or this, this unicorn riding a rainbow fart and glitter and rainbows across the sky. I'm a regular, everyday guy who's figured out a way to make his life incredibly enjoyable, loving, accepting, respectful, successful head over heels, in love with my wife Tina for 15 years because I just wanted to be the most real version of myself. Everything I write, everything I create the Facebook Lives, I do the YouTube videos, all the podcast interviews. There's nothing about this that is fake or rehearsed or you know, I don't use words that would get me 32 points in Scrabble. I just speak of who I am, and every night when I look in the mirror I can say, You did good today. You were a good version of steve today. And I wake up in the morning and I just, I just want to be the best version of myself. And I can tell people that until I'm blue in the face. But what I to be is the best living example of it. And I've had other people come to me after speaking events and say, You were the most real person on that stage today. That's cool. You're the only one who was not going rah ra. Buy my stuff What is it that, really works for your clients on helping them reshape and reframe their perspectives so that they can better achieve their dreams and visions in life? Those little steps, the little roller coaster, analogy that I was using about whatever one of your goals is the top of that first hill and people I'm coaching, say, I'm gonna sit next to you in the car, but just know we're gonna start at the bottom. We're gonna go click, click. click, click the person you become. As you rise above the parking lot, the you become when you rise higher, you can see the whole rest of the park. The person you become at that last second for that last before you go over and your eyes get real big you that deep breath and you've done all the work to get there, and you're at that one little teetering moment that if you wanted to, you could get out and walk all the way back down and quit. Or you can understand that everything that got you here is about to set you up for the most incredible celebration of your life because you freaking did it. And then we're gonna scream our brains out and celebrate it for a ride. We couldn't stop if we tried. And at the end, if you really feel that that took your life to another place, a better place, you're excited for the goal. It may be a goal in a different category or next level for all of them, we get back in line. here's the thing you do when you're back in line. You look around for somebody whom you care about, who's as nervous and excited as you were. When you set your first goal that's trying to make a change in their lives, and you ask them, Are you trying to make your life better? Yeah. Trying to be a better version of yourself. Yeah. Tell you what, why don't you come sit next me. Let me tell you a story on the way up this hill. Stop listening to those people. Hockey, the instant, the the snap your finger cures. Let me show you this model that's been working real well for me and for the guy that just taught me how to do it. Hmm. It takes a long time. And some people say, I'm just impatient. Well, you can be impatient all day long, but when you're impatient that, you're always gonna be looking that next magic cure. The super secret formula. There are none. How many of your clients come out, uh, the gate like meeting with you and are negative? I mean, that's a negative perspective of theirselves, right? And a negative reflection of their abilities in thinking that they can just want get it done right away. But what is a common link that you've seen in working with people that they need to overcome so that they can get past that hurdle, whether it's negativity or whatever, and start to make the actual meaningful progress? Listening to and believing the wrong people in their lives is a big one. I, I give an example, two people in the last 24 hours that I'd communicated with. One was just a couple hours ago who said, Steve, I have this great opportunity for my business. Her business been struggling a bit because she deals in live parties and exposed, and with the, with, the last couple of years that part of it went away. She's just now getting her legs back under her or get, you know, doing some exciting things. She's being proactive. She has an opportunity to get a storefront for her business, and she's waffling on it. And she said, I out to you because if I reached out to my mom, she would say it was the stupidest thing in the world. Don't do it. Mm. I Wow. A, I'm honored that I'm the first person you reached out to, but b, This is why, and there's a lot of people who have that in their lives and some people disguise their negativity and judgment, meaning the people outside my clients by saying, Hey, I'm just keeping it real. And I, I tell them right up front, said, this is what you're gonna hear from a lot of people. Just because you're working with me or working with a coach, you don't need a coach. Just, you know, I'm just keeping it real. And I'm telling you this cuz I love you. Your idea stinks, you know, and, but there's so many people out there who believe people like that. Now does it mean all these people are bad? No. It just means that they may have fear, so they may never gone for it. Or they're from a generation that just didn't do things like this. My dad, I lost my dad almost four years ago and he would ask me every once in a while he would say, So let me guess, Let me see this. You get paid. Really well to get up on stage and tell stories to a whole room full of people and then they invest in your programs stuff. I said, Yeah. He goes, What do you tell them? I said, Well, I start with the stories about the dumbest things I ever did to mess up my life. And then I tell the stories of how he put it all back together better than ever before. He goes, I watched that whole thing happen. I said, Yeah, I didn't charge you for it, he would laugh, but he would still not quite get it because he would get up every day and go to a nine to five job. Cuz that was his generation. Yeah. Yep, yep. And, and it's, the world has shifted so much. It's so different. We have so many more opportunities, guys, you know, 20 years ago I could not have to just be dressing nicely from the waist up on the camera, talking to people all around the world. It's so true. Who we are, Negative opinions and negative perspectives, or lack of creativity and lack of positive reinforcement or encouragement can really hold you back. I've experienced it. But you have to get to a point where you just go, Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, I get your opinion, thank you. And, but it doesn't derail you, you push past that no matter what. And a lot of times it takes something so that you're so passionate about that no matter who or what or when comes at you, that's negative. Your passion carries you past that and it doesn't hold you back. Yep, exactly. It's so true. Like a lot of people experience that. Yeah. And I believe the biggest key to that. And, and you just, Oh, you just touched on something. If I can just share this real quick. Yeah, go ahead. No, in, in taking your passion, but also marrying it with your deeply felt from your gut, emotionally connected, why you want something? Mm. You know, and and why is a big thing. Simon Sy has a book called With why, and I Love it. Now some people are just talking about what's your why? No, your. why. I take it much deeper by saying, emotionally connected and gut driven. No, why You want something, and it can't just be because it's better than what I have now, or it's more than, or whatever. When you have an emotional connection to why you do something and such a fire in your gut. That is the gas in your tank, and that is where it's gonna keep a pebble from becoming a jersey barrier. And if you think of like the, remember the Roomba vacuums when they first came out? Yeah. They weren't exactly intelligent yet. They would just kind of go, Right now they learn the whole room. They're freaky. Now it's terminators. But with brushes, the old ones would just go and they would hit something and they would instantly back up and just go somewhere else. Well, that's what a lot of people do when they have weak goals and not a connection to it. They see that they hit the littlest bit of interruption or turbulence and they go, Well, I guess that wasn't worth it. And they go somewhere else. Hmm. You gotta, if you know your why, gonna go over, under, a round or through. In the last couple of years there was like big clump of trees that fell on a mountain pass. Some people will go all the way back to the bottom of the mountain thinking, Well, I guess it's not my day. And they'll sit there with the park, you know, porta potties in a rotted picnic bench and stay there instead of realizing these trees don't go on forever. I can walk to tops or the bottom, go around. I can climb up and over, I can dig under, I can do something. I wanna be at the top of that mountain so badly, I'm gonna get through this. That's what they love. That need to have, they need that. They, they need to have that clear vision and that clear end in sight in their mind. The vision board helps you achieve that because you are focusing on something bigger and past those fallen trees so that you can get the motivation to keep going. That's how life is, man. I mean, we're always gonna come up with reasons not to do something and you tell your friend, or your family or your spouse that you're gonna go and do an X, Y, and Z. They're gonna do the same thing. Oh wow. That won't work. There's 50 other podcasts out there. Or 5,000, 500,000 other podcasts. Why yours gonna be different? Who's gonna listen? Yeah. It don't matter. Do it because you want to do it because you're excited about it and because it makes you feel good and the world knows when you're excited. That's how we should be interacting with people is look for the positive and give them encouragement. and it's not something that every parent, my parents weren't the best at it. I mean, they encouraged me, but there's times where they were just pessimistic and negative and like, Yeah, that won't work. Right? Or they come up with the barriers. Everyone can identify the first, second, third, fourth barrier as to why it's gonna be hard for you to succeed. But nothing in life is free. Nothing is easy. You have to push through the barriers. Some you identify and some are curve ball barriers that just show up you have to figure out how to troubleshoot it. What are my options? How do I get around it? Because I'm still going for that objective. I still want to achieve my objective, yeah, but so we need to keep encouraging each other, you know, because you don't know where it's gonna go. Yeah. I had love cheering people on. That's one of my favorite things in the world. I tell all my clients that when we start working together, I said, Just be prepared. I'm gonna be in this studio laughing with you, crying with you, jumping up and down, screaming elbow deep in the mud. We are gonna go through some stuff, but just know, I think you're awesome and I think there's some great potential here. And I want you, when you don't believe in yourself, reach out to me cuz I'm gonna ask you some questions and I'm gonna show you how to believe in yourself and stop listening to those other. voices. Does it mean you throw people outta your life? You don't let their voices into the party sometimes. they're gonna do something bad in the Punch Bowl. Yeah, exactly. have no idea what's gonna on that punch bowl. Oh, no, no. It's gonna get spiked. You may not like what's in it, but, and, and got a number of my clients who reach to me before they'll even speak with their family about stuff. Steve, I had this idea, but I wanted to run up by you first. Okay, let's sit down. Let's talk about the steps. talk about what it's gonna take. Let's talk about what gonna do to you, is gonna be too much pressure that's gonna drive you back into the, you know, little bit here. could be great about this? Let's talk about that before we talk about what could go wrong. Mm. How so changing gears a little bit, how do you prepare for your public speaking engagements? I just remind myself, Look, you know your stuff. Just get up there and be real and connect with the audience. Don't try to memorize, Be in the moment and connect with as many eyeballs as you can, one at a time. Whether it's 20 people in front of me or 1,020, it doesn't matter when I wanna say something impactful. I don't look over the crowd. I don't stare into the lights. I look right at human beings gesture and pause and connect. And what most people don't realize is every time I do that, they look at me and they're nodding. I go, All right, connection. Next connection. Next connection. That's what I say on to myself before I go on stage. Not get every single sentence and every word right, or every movement and gesture, right? And dramatic and poetic. Let's go out there and connect with as many people's eyes and minds and hearts as possible. I've had people say, um, you know, Steve, some of your grammar was wrong. So yeah, who cares? I, I was in a toast. Toastmasters. Yeah, I was in a Toastmasters competition in November of 2008. One round from the championship, which was May, New Hampshire, Vermont, Prince, Edward Island, Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, Northeast US, Southeast Canada. round before the finals, a woman after I won, was right there in my face. I'm six two. She was all a five foot nothing. She looks up and she says, You know, you're gonna have to know the difference between adjective and an adverb if you wish to advance at this. Just like in the movies, Angel on one shoulder, Devil on the other. Of course, at the time I was a standup comedian as well. Angel says, say thank you. Shake her hand, walk away, devil says, Hit her with the trophy. like I won, being imperfect. And two weeks later I drove seven and a half hours up to Canada to speak for six and a half minutes and won the whole darn thing. Still not knowing the difference. Treat an adjective and an ad verb and probably made the same mistakes again. It doesn't matter. I connected with an audience, I connected with the judges and I won. That's all I care about, Dude, that's powerful because that is what we all should be focusing on, and it is a massive factored year success and should be, everyone's factored to success is how are you connecting with humans? How are you making a difference to other humans? You know what I mean? Because if you can inspire, Oh dude, totally. You gotta be able to connect with people Yeah. I do it all day long. Yeah. Literally connecting with human beings all day long. And, and people say, Well, Steve, it's not that easy. Or, or you're outgoing. I'm, I'm by nature and introvert, Believe me. I, I explain that. So How are you an introvert? You come across as a great extrovert. Uh, that's what most people think. And for many years I was always the life of the party, the center of attention. It is exhausting to be that way, and that's where a lot of the self deprecation was coming from. I was trying to be something I was not, and I'm comfortable being up in front of people, connecting and doing stand up and being on stages. I'm comfortable with that. But off stage, I would rather spend an evening at home sitting on couch with my wife Tina, giving her her her nightly foot rub. Than being out trying to entertain a whole crowd people. That's what I do for a living. That's not what I need to do all the time. It is exhausting. Emotionally exhausting. hmm. But whenever I have the opportunity to be around other individuals, it, it's a lesson that I learned by observing my grandfather. I leave as many situations a day better than I find them. Even if it's just with a smile, a kind word holding a door. Or, One of my favorite ways to interact and connect with people is playing something I call shopping cart rodeo. You go to the grocery store and if you see a carriage that's been abandoned, you don't scream and complain that someone was lazy and left it there because you don't know many operating legs they had. That's the thing I say, Yeah, I know how many legs that person had that work, , maybe I should just go get it because I'm very able bodied and it's extra steps on my Fitbit that day. Great. My favorite thing to do, Is if I see a senior citizen or a mom with kids who have the kids in the car from a safe distance, I'll ask, Excuse me, would you like me to return that carriage for you? Has never been refused. Turn around. Big smile. That would be wonderful. Thank you. Well, there was this little old lady easily in her eighties And all that was left in the carriage was her And I said, Ma'am, do me a favor before I get over there, take the purse out of that, out of the carriage, because you see these cameras up here. I do not want footage of you beating me up I'm trying to your purse. That would be embarrassing. the tackle on this little tiny, 80 plus year old woman, the deep laughter and cackle, I could still hear 40 feet away when she was in her car. I was not having a good day that day and I looked up and I said I was supposed to be here. My day was, was changed in that moment. because of a connection I had with one amazing little person and a a parking lot. love it. So I do that every day. Now You go outta your way to look for all the, those opportunities and you, and you create them. And it has so many dividends, not only for yourself, but for others. We need to all, we need to all do that, but it's, it's crazy. Like it seems like society in masses doing the opposite, but we need to actually embrace the change. We need to be the positive that is needed. Because what you focus on grows. If you focus on those opportunities and focus on positivity, you're going to create positive outcomes. CR positive thoughts. I keep telling my kids this too. If you focus on negativity, then you're gonna be negative. You're going to, you're gonna have negative outcomes. if you think you're going to fail at something, you're likely fail. But if you envision yourself succeeding, who knows where you're gonna go. And as long as we keep embracing the positive, holy crap, we as a society, as the individual, as whatever role we have in life, would be unstoppable. I love that. Yeah. And, and you're right that there's so much negativity and noise and chaos and drama out there that when you're the one person who is positive, when everybody else is either complaining, mean, have you ever been on a, in an airport when a flight got canceled? Totally. And all of a sudden everybody went to the counter and was screaming. Yep. At the poor clerk who was not the pilot, who was not the weather person. And, and, uh, a friend of mine last week went through this and he put a post on Facebook and he tagged me. He said, I just had my Steve gambling moment. My flight got canceled. Everyone was screaming. he said, I use Steve's phrase, when got to the counter and said, I hope I'm the meanest, nastiest person. You have to deal with the rest of your shift. Hi, my name is, and I need to get a flight home. And He said the person behind the counter shifted just like that. Yes sir. Let me help you with that. And, and just for that one, dealing, for that moment, The, the energy was amazing and I love doing that. My wife, sometimes when we're out, we hit, you know, we've had a couple of flights get canceled and she says, um, Go be charming. And we, she goes, Oh, they gave us seats. We're not together anymore. Go do your charming thing and see if we can get seats together. And I went up, I put my gym bag on the counter. I said, Hi. My wife and I have been together 15 years. For some reason, she still digs me. Now there may be a bottle of ru in this bag here for you. Is it possible we sit together on the way home? and one starts laughing. The other one types it up. Hands the ticket says, Here you go, sir. You're all set. Thank you. And I grabbed the bag and she goes, we can't accept gifts. I go, That, that's okay. There's no rum in there anyway, she's like, Oh, you tricked me. And they're roaring laughing. And I'm laughing and I walk back and my wife says, only you. Yeah, only you Because you have a gift. And when you have that gift, you gotta spread it, man. Like, and we can all do little things too. You, have you ever gone to a fast food place, a Starbucks, a you know, anywhere where you go to pick up something and there's someone providing that service to you? Lately there's, they seem to be like teenagers, you know, young kids. But have you ever just stopped to give a compliment, just, Hey, I love your hair, and oh my gosh, their energy shifts in a, in a second and you probably make their day, you probably make their week. But all the other people before you probably didn't pay a compliment and they probably were rude and they were probably stressed out and demanding and short with them. Right? So Sometimes just a simple compliment can totally transform someone's day yep. And when you have the chance, ask for the manager and tell the manager, say, This person right here, rockstar. And wanna let you know that how I felt being a customer, working with this person. You got somebody great there because most people, when they ask for a manager not for that reason, and I, I write, i I given video testimonials that I'll send right to corporate headquarters when there's somebody who's so good. I'll get here on my camera in my Zoom room and say, Hi, my name is Steve Gamlin. I visited the location here. Let me tell you, this is person I worked with. I just wanna say in this day and age of how things are, I loved my interaction with this person today, and I just wanted you to know that I've literally gotten calls from corporate op, corporate headquarter offices before, and the next time I visited a property, that person comes out and says, Wow, thank you. One person said, I was considering leaving my job. I thought I was gonna get let go, but because what you said, it got back to our general manager who came down and said, You've got a place here as long as you want to be here. That's awesome, dude. It's the most amazing feeling in the world, and it's me, it's what they were doing, but someone noticed and mentioned it. That's, that's really we're, we're conduits to all these things. I love that. It seems to me like society is focusing on negativity in the mass because if you think about it, like media news they really make their living off negativity. We're inundated with political drama news, headline news and whatever. You know, geopolitical, military issues, economics, social media demands for perfection. And everyone's beautiful, happy go lucky with a cherry on top. And here you are evaluating your miserable life in the middle of all the other negatives that are hitting you and everything you watch. We need to turn off the toxicity and negativity and embrace moments of positive impact and go out of our way to help others. Because dude, it changes your perspective in life. It changes who you are and you. At the same time impact others too, Yeah. Which is a double whammy. It's awesome. We need more of that I used to tell the story on stage you know, I rarely watch the news. I, I do check news I am aware of what's on in the world. Believe me, I'm not one of these people just says, La la la. The world's all lollipops. It gun drops. Cause it's not, it's not a perfect place. It's never been a place. just choose focus on the good stuff. Cause the good stuff just real as bad. Now what happens on the news shows, just the credits start rolling and you find out who provided the suit and the outfit the newscasters it's all they go, Oh, hang on a second. We this one little, know, seconds news at the end. And they do that feel good story. to tell people, I said, Look, I just DVR the news and I watch it backwards. I put the good story first. I love that I said I wish the newscasters would actually do it that way, but in, and I was in broadcast for years. I was on the radio. Yeah. My wife is in the, in the newspaper, in print industry. They have a saying, if it bleeds, it leads. Wow. Meaning the absolute worst thing possible. It's gonna get people to go, Wait second, I gotta hear this. They tease the worst stuff that's what they start with. Gosh, the good stuff's as real as the bad. Why can't you mention that first? I mean, Yao radio, it's all positivity and guests and conversations and and humor. my part I bring, you know, humorous learning as well. And it's just as real as the bad stuff. And we've got a lot of listeners every month that listen to us from all over the place. That's cool. We need more of that. We totally need more of that cuz it's just the world has too much negativity Yeah. everything can get spinn into a negative light, So let's create more. I'm a huge proponent or a huge like advocate for putting out all that knowledge and wealth that other people have used to help others gravitate around that because it's not complex, it's not rocket science, it's effort, it's confidence, and it's trying and experimenting. Yep. Yep. And we've all done it before. You know, we talk about having more positive emotions. That's why of the eight areas that I, I mentioned earlier, the different categories of life wheel that I work with people, One of them is your emotional wellbeing. Set goals for the emotions you feel on a more regular basis. And people say, Well, absolutely. Doesn't everybody do that? No. No not at all. I say it to people and they, they act like I'm speaking a foreign language. Said, What emotions do you wanna feel this year? What do you mean? Uh, do you wanna be happy? You wanna be sad? Do you wanna be afraid? What do you Oh, I wanna be happy. Okay. Are you happy right now? Scale of one to 10? Oh, maybe a five or a six. Okay. Were you ever at a number higher than that? Oh yeah. What was going on in your life at the. What were you doing for a job? What were you spending time with? What conversations were you having? What activities did you do when you were away from work that brought you joy? What hobbies did you have? Where did you live? What? How was the weather there? And I start to ask them if they felt it before they can start to identify what they were doing, what they were thinking, how they spoke with others, how they spoke about themselves. Mm-hmm., were you, were you physically healthy at the time? Maybe have you put a little bit of weight on and now you're down feeling bad about yourself so you're not happy anymore. How could I be happy if I'm not healthy? And all these things start to creep in when we start to identify where they were. Why don't you fall back into that pattern? Maybe they were in a relationship that really serve them well, a friendship, and they've drifted apart for some reason. They reconnected that person all of a sudden, boom, they're right back there. Yeah. There's so many factors that go into this and why I think it's very important to set one goal per year in each of those categories because, and I know you said a lot of people might find it overwhelming. The way I explained it is, , you might be amazed at how one of them could impact 1, 2, 3, 4. Others. You take care of your, your physical health, You eat well, you exercise. I, I stopped drinking alcohol 16 months ago because it was a very lazy habit that every night I would have the tall rum and coke and it was just numbing and draining. So I decided to, Stopped drinking alcohol. I started drinking a lot of water. stopped even really drinking soda. I ate better. I get healthier. I got better sleep. What did that do? Gave me more energy during the day when I had more energy, I could work more. When I worked more, I made more money. When I made more money, I could buy back some time and freedom and spend more time with my wife, Tina my family. And I also have our own nonprofit. called Beach Bu Philanthropy. We help out and support several local homeless shelters and people who help the homeless and in need. Well, when I could do all of these things, my core values and my ethics and my faith and spirituality kicked in, I wanna live serving others. Great. We could do more of that as well. It led to more connection. Um, having these amazing conversations with homeless people shelters, sitting down just regular face to face, having conversations and being able to make a difference. All because I decided to get he. That's put down the alcohol and, and eat better and exercise. And so far I'm down about 25 pounds or so. Again, not all at once. Not lippo, Developing better habits, right? All of that came from the decision to take care of my physical health. And it has impacted every other spoke of the wheel. That's exactly what people need to do. They need to just make a positive decision today and get in the right direction. You just take steps. Your first step of quitting alcohol. Well, and I'm sure there were some steps before that, but either way, that was a good step, right? And look at everything that's happened since then. Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah, Same thing with anything like, you know, schooling getting educated, building a website, building a business, build, drawing, crafting, creating, anything. Just taking step one is all you need to do today to start that momentum growing. Eventually it'll become so big, you're like, Wow, this is cool. But all those little steps add up, man. Yep. I love it. And, and when, you know why, I mean, I touched on it earlier when you know why you do something. The biggest reason for why I wanted to take care of myself better health, physically, uh, of course some people, you know, reach out and they go, You just wanna look better and naked. I'm like, um, , that'd be great. But that's not the reason. Right? For the last 10, 12, 15 years of his life, my dad's physical health and even his cognitive abilities were starting to go downhill. He had Parkinson's. He also had a couple other health issues. He physically became a, a large burden on my step. Hmm. He would fall down, he would have dizzy spells, and he started to have to go to the doctor a lot more. Now, he did not eat well for most of his life. He did not take great care of himself. Yeah, and my biggest why is I never wanna be a burden on my Tina. I never wanna do that to her. So at age 53, at the time, 16 months ago, I said, I'm going to lose weight, I'm going to eat better, I'm going to be more fit and be more active. I'm gonna, I'm gonna remain positive a lot of the time and understand that my. my. It's gonna be a long road to do this. So every Monday through Friday, I'm up at five 30 in the morning. Five beeps on the alarm. I have to turn the alarm off within five beeps. Tina bought me a new clock. I don't think it even has the snooze. Thank God I need one of those within five beeps. I need to shut it off. And then I, in my head, Thank you Mel Robbins for her book, the the five second rule. In my head, I count five. By the time I hit five, I had to have kissed Tina on her cheek or on her neck, and my bun's gotta be off that mattress by the count of five. I come downstairs, I walk a mile, I do dumbbells in resistance bands, and I go upstairs and ride the Peloton for a half hour. That's every Monday through Friday. Because I know I do not wanna be a burden on Tina. Good for you. my my why. Good for you. Everyone needs that. Why? And that's powerful. So Steve, you have a lot of positive energy about you. I love how vulnerable you are. You're a good communicator. You're funny. I like it. So thank you. Where can people find your website and where can people find your book? We'd even talk about your book, by the way, but that's okay. where can people find your content? How can they reach out to you if they want to book you as a coach, and where do they find your stuff? They can find me nice and easy@stevelin.com and it's g a m l i n. We do have a new website being developed, so if you happen look at it today, and then again in a month, it's probably gonna look different, but it'll still be the same site. Steve lin.com. Awesome. And that's where you can get a copy of your book as well, or are you on Amazon as well? Yes. Um, there's a products page on the website that has, uh, my books, the Vision Board Mastery Program is there and people can just click on the calendar and let's have a conversation. I just, I wanna leave you a little better than found you, even if we have a 15, 20 minute conversation. What is the Vision Board's mastery? Is it like they don't have to engage you as a coach, they could just buy the Mastery program? Why don't you talk about that for a minute, Yeah. When I was first starting to go through learning vision boards and visualization and, and people have said, Oh, Steve, did you get certified for in the Vision Board Training Institute? No, there is one, by the way. A woman genius started it at her kitchen table and created a certificate. It's, It is what it is. No, I said, I learned it the hard way. I tried. I failed. I tried. I failed. I tried. I failed. I tried, I had a little success and went, Ooh, write that down. Write that down, write that down. As I started to create and, and pile up the successes, I started. Talk about it at my speaking events. Then I started to do vision board events, and then people were saying, Well, Steve, I can't afford hire you to come in. It'd be great if you created program. So I went back to my journals went back to all my boards, and I created a 10 step process to hold people's hands from day one all the way through creating a vision board and then taking action and people, The first objection is, Oh, Steve, I went to a vision board party. Well, let me guess. The marketing started with We're gonna have wine, cheese, crackers, scissors, glue sticks, glitter, and magazines. They said, Yeah. I said, You don't get loaded in my program. And you also don't gather pictures till module seven, everything else inside work and assessment and dialing in your why, what your goals are, who you need to connect with, who you need to become. It's the full on process and the reason I created it, I couldn't find a program out there that I thought was worth anything. So I created my own and it's, uh, it's done pretty well. I like it. Well, thank you. This was really informative. Uh, it was a joy to have you on and to talk to you and get to know you. I love what you're doing. All right, man. You in, you enjoy, uh, the rest of your evening. I know you have done a lot of interviews lately, so thanks for squeezing me in and coming on. The success factor is a lot of fun. Absolutely. My pleasure. This was a blast. So thank you so much for putting your faith in Me too. Be a part of this conversation. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and thanks for putting your best foot forward and putting all your energy out there and all your advice and insights. Best of luck to you and your clients and, and, uh, hopefully they can achieve their dreams and visions that you're helping them kind of navigate towards. So thank you.